58 tools in one convenient 3-lb package, and the cornerstone of my EDC. German manufactured, and exceptionally sturdy. The locking mechanism is solid and all of the tools perform very well. Say what you will of their post-WW2 blunders, Germany is a top-tier innovator in quality multitools.

The all stainless steel construction gives a very satisfying and tactile click when you operate the pen's mechanism. It has a glassbreaker tip in case you need to escape a submerged car through the closed window, or are too busy to open your grandfather's sliding glass door the "right" way. It can also be jabbed into the throat and eye of a would-be attacker, rendering them blind or dead-blind. Takes pen refills from a Pilot G2.

I took this from my grandfather's garage when he wasn't looking. I don't know the story behind it, but it looks cool and is now a sentimental accompaniment to my main hatchet.

This is my main hatchet. It folds up cleanly and the locking mechanism is strong and crisp. The matte black finish on the steel is as dark as my desire to see all criminals punished/kill-punished. It hacked up a sapling my grandfather planted in his back yard quite nicely. The laser-etched logo on the handle looks great.

This pen is exactly like the X-100, but it is in black rather than stainless steel finish. This gives an advantage at night, as the pen will be harder to see. Perfect for when you need to take night notes stealthily or kill/blind-then-kill an assailant who would try to read your notes over your shoulder or take your pens.

This is the brightest handheld flashlight available. It can instantly blind a human or a charging bird. Use it on roadways at night to keep menacing tailgaters at bay.

Grandfather had this on his bedside table the last time I visited him.

Never get lost with this military-grade compass. Waterproof, shakeproof. Optional leather carrying case.

This bottle opener actually has 12 tools in one. Precision cut out of titanium. Loosen bolts or loosen the cap of your favorite ale (Dead Man Drop Kick Skeleton Ale by KillYou Brewery, for me, please. A 35% ABV dark ale that will take you where you need to go). Also can be used to kill/blind-then-kill assailants/assassins/thugs.

Grandfather probably isn't going to miss this old thing (engraved with his initials, a present from my late grandmother). Until recently, he kept it in tip top shape, on his kitchen counter, right next to his scented candle. Should my life goal of eventually doing private security for James Hetfield fail and I decide to settle down with a quiet, smoking hot blonde woman, it would make a fine heirloom to pass on to the strongest of our three children.

This is my main lighter. This butane beauty can ignite anything it comes into contact with. Great for starting small distraction fires in my grandfather's trash cans.