What kind of psychopath

takes the last cup of coffee and doesn't start a new pot?

It is 9:00am

It is early

It is Monday

What kind of sociopath does this?

Someone who doesn't read Garfield. Someone who has no idea that there is a whole world of funny pages that inform our lives and decisions. Somone who looks at pictures of flowers and spits. Someone who lies and cheats and steals and ruins lives for no reason but their own devotion to satan.

I will find who did this.

I will find who did this and extract VENGEANCE.

I will extract VENGEANCE from them like hot water extracts the flavor from roasted and ground coffee beans.

I hate evil.

As I have proven time and time again. I will find evil. I will hunt evil down and destroy it.

I have swords. I have one sword but it is a katana and counts as two swords. Under my strength, this katana can slice a phone book mostly in half.

Nobody can stop me.

Even if you cover yourself in phone books, I will find a way to destroy you.

Coffee isn't my problem.

If you say that I should lay off the coffee then you are my problem. If you say that tomorrow you aren't going to automatically make a new pot after the first is gone because you are worried about my intake then you are my problem. If you say that I am high-strung and scary then you are my problem.

I don't know how to make coffee.

Oh I'm sorry. I've memorized encyclopedias and dictionaries and phone books. My mind is an ever-expanding library of so much world knowledge. I'm bound to miss a couple of things. Do you know how much information there is in the world? I'll bet my incredibly expensive and amazing coin collection that you don't. So one thing slipped by me. One thing.

This isn't over.

Yeah maybe I'm going to go sit back down at my desk. Maybe I'm feeling woozy and need to sit in my chair with lumbar support that the office manager specially ordered for me because I sent a company-wide email every day for a month requesting it. Just know that this isn't over. Evil has no place in this office, nay, in the world. It is my mission and I won't let you or coffee or phone books or abybody else get in my way.

Even though you've blocked the coffee from me on this Monday, you haven't thwarted me. I will go to the vending machine and buy a Coke and that will suffice for now, heathen.

Can I borrow some money for the vending machine?